Second Thoughts
Second Thoughts

Driving back to Missouri Sunday afternoon we are making lists of all the things that has to be done, how much it’s going to cost and how the logistics will work. I start to realize how absolutely complicated it’s going to be. And expensive. Sean is giving me the math on the cost of fuel for a trip starting in Omaha and ending in Key West and I’m blown away. I mean, I knew it was going to be crazy but just didn’t realize it would be off the charts certifiably nuts. Then we get out the calendar and start on making a timeline, figuring out where the breaks are in our schedules and how/when we could start making some moves. Pretty soon I am completely and utterly overwhelmed. It is too hard. I have no idea what we were thinking making such a rash decision. I want out. Seriously. I tell Sean we should call them right now and get our check back. Nothing has been cashed, no harm, no foul. He tells me if I feel that way, I should call. I want him to make the call. Neither of us wants to make that call. We argue about that several miles until I just fall into a buyer’s remorse funk.

We pull into a gas station parking lot and while Sean goes in, I decide to pour myself a ‘roadie’ glass of wine. I hadn’t had a sip when I look up and Sean is opening my door and pulling me out. He gives me a big, tight, long hug, neither of us saying anything. By this time, I’m tearing up and he wipes my face with the back of his hand. Then he tells me this:

“Owning a boat is something you’ve wanted to do since I met you. You’ve been looking practically every day for years. And we’ve both talked about and dreamed of cruising the Great Loop for a really long time, haven’t we? All the ladies on the dock were so jealous. They all said they wished it was something they would have done. And the owner’s wife; she gave you all her maps and information she compiled, thinking that one day after retirement her and her husband would do this trip. And then she got cancer and he had health issues and that opportunity passed. Then there’s your mom. You know she always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. She put it off and put it off and then it was just too late.”

By this time I’m really crying.

“We got this. We’re young enough, healthy and we can make the time. We can make this happen. It may not be easy but we’ll know we took the chance and have no regrets. Partner.”

Ok, partner. Let’s do it.

Dedicated to my mom, Vonda Edwards  April 8, 2018

Image may contain: Vonda Edwards, smiling, closeup

 

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